Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize