If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Michael Bay diarrhea
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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