I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
