At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
