This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
