she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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