everyone is single if you try hard enough
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
