omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
