He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize