return my video game
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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