he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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