There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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