yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
