Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Come on in and take your pants off
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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