He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He passed out mid-signature
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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