May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
