how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
