i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
