So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
