are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
