grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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