Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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