Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
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My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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