dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
