Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
