Tell her she can't have a vagina
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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