we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
