the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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