Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
