He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
