I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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