I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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