Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
