some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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