I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize