Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
