can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
