turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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