i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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