you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
