I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
