if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
