When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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