used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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