My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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