and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Please don't give away my fajitas
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
