we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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