update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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