please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
