Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
