I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
