i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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