Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize