fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!