i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.