so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it