He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
