It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
