can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just threw up on my dentist
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
