I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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