Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
