rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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