Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
